This time again – my birthday!

28 octobre 201828 octobre 2018 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

« The birth of all things is weak and tender; and therefore we should have our eyes intent on beginnings. » ~ Michel de Montaigne

Hola la familia! 25th of October was my birthday. So grateful for all the lovely wishes, it made me feel loved and special! 😀 I had a delicious dinner and lots of extraordinary red wine with 2 beautiful ladies. Ah! These few past days were intense, both cheerful and challenging. Full moon played its role here, I guess! As every year, it is now time to wrap up, celebrate and make space for the new!

Life is short and a gift that we unpack, create and allow daily. I have my ups and downs, at times I feel vulnerable, overstressed or lonely, but with age (it really sounds like I am getting older!), I feel so much more at peace with myself, others and life itself. I have dreams and a clear direction. I am in love and learning to love deeply and well (this one may take me a few life times!).

I am grateful for sweet presence of beautiful and inspiring people around me. I like my job, most of the time, typically after 10 am when my brain starts to wake up! 😀 I feel supported by friends, family and wise people who I call, when trouble comes. I learn new things every day. I know what makes me feel alive and I try to do it often: dance, movement, art, poetry, music, languages (Arabic and Spanish – may God grant me with patience and discipline to learn them slowly but surely!), nurturing open interactions, travel and spiritual inquiries!

I try to keep balance between some sort of positive routine (security – yes, I need you!) and being spontaneous, adventurous and a little crazy (I got it after my one and only mum). Revolutions are not part of my temper but I can feel in my bones that something is waking up and this New Year will bring some fresh new stuff. Curious what will come my way. I have some ideas, but it is better not to know, surprises are good. 😀

Recently, when I had an intense, sad and a desperate lonely moment, I promised myself to listen to my soul (sounds strange, but this is what came up!). When it feels right in my heart, then it is probably the best thing to do. Please wish me courage. Vive la folie douce! Love to all of you. And love to me too, indeed, joyful gentle love is the best soul food available in store, à volonté, olé! 😀

Please see below a poem I wrote recently. I value space and emptiness more and more. They are so pure and liberating, hope you will enjoy!

Love,
Pau

« I have a great curiosity to see new things, but not to own them. It’s very peaceful this way, and one of the nice things about getting older. » ~ Lee Radziwill

Miss emptiness

I fear you
I honour you
I want you
Please feel welcome
Come, come, come to me
Be my guest
Or rather allow me to be yours
For a brief cup of tea
Let me feel
Your freedom
Lightness of being
Innocence of now

Take everything
Remove all the layers
Wants, desires, fears, attachments
Labels, illusions and aspirations
Put everything to the sacred fire
Let it burn, burn, burn
Let it go, go, go
So that I can simply be
In this vast spaciousness
In this pure openness
In here and now

I am on my way home
Leaving my suitcase behind
No keys, no wallet, no passport
I am naked and my heart is open
Ready to jump into the abyss
Of no-thing
I am afraid – deep down
I know that life will catch me
I trust you miss emptiness
You are so dense with life
Your dance is so full of light
You are breathing yourself in and out
In an endless wind of joy

« My witness is the empty sky. » ~ Jack Kerouac

“One just needs a little alertness to see and find out: life is really a great cosmic laughter.” ~ Osho

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand, relax. If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~ Osho

“Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” ~ Osho

Nice sound to finish with. I love it. It feels like warm sunny wind on my skin and make me want to travel far away! 😀

***

Thank you! Feel free to share and let me know your thoughts!

***

London calling {my soul}

11 février 201811 février 2018 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

« Don’t force anything. Let life be a deep let go. » ~ Eileen Caddy

My beloved London, in 2017 I was lucky enough to live with you for a very brief while. I was both stressed and grateful, while falling asleep and waking up in your classy arms. I would love to learn more of your lingo, walk again through your frenetic streets decorated with colourful breath-taking art pieces. I want to taste more of your take away surprising dishes and explore your clubs, coffee shops and peaceful sacred spots. I would like to dance at your glory, go to your concerts, run through your parks and gracefully squeeze in your crowded tube. {I am a little size – it is ok if it is tight!} Yes, I am afraid; we do not know each other very well. But I simply cannot ignore my drive to explore and connect. I want to meet your people. I want to lose myself in your hectic and noisy melting pot. One way or another, I will be back. Maybe for a couple of days, a few months or even longer, who knows? Hope you don’t mind? 😉 Anyway, thank you so much for having me, really appreciated the whole bitter-sweet intense and enriching experience!

Magnificent piece of street art on Hanbury Street by artist Dale Grimshaw

« The best bribe which London offers today to the imagination, is, that, in such a vast variety of people and conditions, one can believe there is room for persons of romantic character to exist, and that the poet, the mystic, and the hero may hope to confront their counterparts. » ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wrote a (not very) sophisticated poem, voilà!

***
London chéri
You are so damn expensive (oh shit!*)
This is how you test someone’s commitment to build a lasting partnership
Many brave hearts play with destiny to get a sense
Of your crazy, intense and colourful spirit
Full of smiley faces and exotic accents
(They all find a common ground after a few drinks)
You are extravagant, sweet, free and fresh
(Also because of the rain, your sky is so capricious and dramatic)
You are hectic, eclectic and business oriented
Yet, you host so many places of worship
Where people pray in countless ways
With same pure, infinite beauty
You taste like a delicious mixture of best dishes from around the globe
I love your vibrant, funky look when you dress to impress on a dance floor
(You never wear tights, I am not sure why)
You politely point out where to look while crossing the street
And how many seconds are left to get to the other side safely
Yet, you make us all feel like non-diagnosed dyslexics
Or headless chickens running against the clock
London – I miss you and your freaky folks
Plus our romantic random lonely walks
Bear with me ~ I’ll be back!
Me enamoré
***

* Nom de Dieu

A few pictures + a few quotes, enjoy!

« It is not what you say that matters. It is what you are and how you live. » ~ Eileen Caddy

“Wild Warrior Women will save the world.” ~ Rune Lazuli

Hyde Park, picture by Virginie Petorin: https://www.virginiepetorin.co.uk/

« Let there be more joy and laughter in your living. » ~ Eileen Caddy

Thanks for reading, what about you – any countries, cities or places that you want to explore? I wish you enjoy yourself and feel home (free + safe + Wi-Fi), wherever you are. 😉

Commitment or somewhere between trust and let go

28 janvier 201828 janvier 2018 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

« Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. » ~ Walt Whitman

I wrote the below piece some time ago. It still touches me deeply. My relationship with commitment is ambiguous. I am full of paradoxes. I want to build, I want long term goals, stability and, at the very same time, I cherish freedom, spontaneity and space for new adventures. I celebrate life exactly as it is here and now and I aim high, both for myself and others. Needless to say it is a little bit chaotic from time to time! 🙂 Playing with this complexity is a tricky game. Balance is a myth. We are all work in progress. As long as we grow, move forward and make adjustments, all is fine. I have no answers or tips. I believe life is a mystery and we all learn through experience rather than intellect. Before, I was trying to stop the pain, hide from the darkness that I could sense coming from a big black hole inside me. Now, I let myself go more and more. I trust the process, my guts and my vulnerability. Thanks God there is dance, music, sun, wind, daylight, water, poetry, art, laughter and warm hearts around me. And there is chocolate. Someone has planned the whole experience pretty well. 🙂

“Love so deeply that even the darkness feels welcomed.” ~ Rune Lazuli

Somewhere between trust and let go

I feel grateful and at peace.
It is good to be committed to a relationship, a job or a company.
It is good to be committed to one’s own growth, desires, needs, projects, dreams and hopes.
It is good to be committed to oneself, to here and now, to life.
Not for as to control, possess or improve.
But to grow, nurture, accept and thus fully enjoy, celebrate and cherish.
The one and only thing that will occur for sure is change.
So let’s appreciate what happens to us now. It shall pass.
So let’s commit, in spite of uncertainty, without attachment to a specific result, just for the sake of love.
So let’s move gently with the flow, and enjoy the now, and the new.
So let’s have some fun, even though there will be pain too.
This is the price of living passionately.
This is the price of commitment.
And there will be sweet and spicy surprises too.
We have come full circle. The vicious or the virtuous one?
A matter of perspective.

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.” ~ Osho

“This is going to sound crazy. Say yes to everything. Accept all offers. Go along with the plan. Support someone else’s dream. Say « yes »; « right »; « sure »; « I will »; « okay »; « of course »; « YES! » Cultivate all the ways you can imagine to express affirmation. When the answer to all questions is yes, you enter a new world, a world of action, possibility, and adventure.” ~ Patricia Ryan Madson

“Love me when I am rain, hold me when I am fire.” ~ Rune Lazuli

I don’t need you (to)

18 janvier 201818 janvier 2018 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

Dear Friends,

Long time no speak, happy to be back and wising you All a lovely 2018!

Please see below a poem and a few quotes from Rune Lazuli, a young female poet whose words go straight to my heart, she is so inspiring and I love her bitter sweet, authentic style. She is on Instagram and Facebook. You may want to check out her work!

Best Wishes and have fun! 😀

Love,

Pau

***

I don’t need you (to)

I don’t need you to be perfect

I find it sexy when you do not know

How to answer my stubborn questions

I find it charming when you doubt

And show your scars

I don’t want long-term promises

Or big beautiful words

I want patience

I want presence

I want prayer

I want commitment to here and now

And authentic joyful

Bitter-sweet chaos

I don’t search for a perfect equation

I accept uncertainty

Provided that there is aliveness

That there is movement

That there is total acceptance

And an open heart, especially when it hurts

I want us to blossom somewhere

In between right or wrong

Black or white

In the graceful clumsy dance

Of two souls

Who accidentally looked into each other’s eyes

***

“Your strength is measured in your ability to smile.” ~ Rune Lazuli

“To be a poet is to be wildly vulnerable.

It is to comfortably reveal your most violent scars.”

Rune Lazuli

“The way in which you choose to heal is beautiful.” ~ Rune Lazuli

“We are the granddaughters of the witches they were not able to burn.” ~ Unknown

To finish with style, one of my favourite songs ever, enjoy! 😉

Bittersweet transitions

14 juin 201715 juin 2017 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

“To exist is to dare to throw oneself into the world.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir

Dears,

Life is seasonal, impermanent and unpredictable. Simple and obvious, yet not always easy! I wrote this poem some time ago, while I was going through a transition phase. Back to square one: more changes are ahead of me! I feel happy-sad, grateful and curious. I trust that life will bring me more beautiful surprises and that the best is yet to come. Or rather: the best and only way is to enjoy here and now to the fullest, until you feel the urge to move again. It is like a dance, shall we? 😀

Love,
Pau

“I love rainstorms… the thunder, lightning, wind, all of it. So much going on at once, so many emotions… just like me.” ~ April Mae Monterrosa

***

In between moments

When you leave xyz behind
Saying “merde” and “merci”
(or the other way round)
And slowly but surely
You open the door
To the wild emptiness
Where there is no thing
Only nothing
Pure being
No projects, no intention, no tension
Joyful, unpredictable NOW
Some wishes and hopes
Loosely attached to your open heart
You let yourself be burned
By the caring transition fire
And then you allow the fresh shower of sorrow
To cool you down a little
You clean, declutter and surrender
You have no choice
But to jump in trust
Eyes wide open
You are ready
To let the old go
And slowly let the new
Sink in nicely
You can rest now
And have a soft
(Or a hard) drink*
You simply are
Experiencing, expressing and allowing
LIFE
Cheers!

***
*Let’s say Polish vodka!

“Honour the space between no longer and not yet.” ~ Nancy Levin

***

As always – BIG thank you for reading, sharing and for your precious feedback! 😀

Party time !!

1 mai 20172 mai 2017 Paulina Biedugnis Laisser un commentaire

Dears,

It has been a long time, since my last article! I wish I had something witty, wise and important to say, but this is it! Hope you will enjoy! 🙂

If it does not match how you presently feel, especially, if you are going through a tough challenge, I am with you, you have my full support.

I am simply sharing my current experience. Expressing my feelings nourishes my soul, makes me joyful and brings me peace.. 🙂

Thank you for passing by.

Love,

Pau

« The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines. » ~ Anne Lamott

Party time

What if life was a big joke?

(Be aware – Big Brother is watching you)

What if God had sense of humour?

What if you had a starring role in a comedy movie?

So let’s playfully play fools

And with a light-open heart

Cherish each moment

Let’s pretend we know the script

Let’s have principles and then break all the rules

Let’s boldly play with fate

Have both fun and faith

With a peaceful pinch of craziness

(It is vital for your mental health)

Show must go on so let’s go baby

Put on your best suit and let’s dance

It is your surprise party

It is your stage-time

The audience is waiting

The music is playing

If you feel nervous

Follow my advice

Get a little tipsy or better – really drunk

I promise, it is worth trying

(In case you have never done it)

At some point, by magic

You will start giggling

Without being able to stop

Your laughter will get louder and louder

And will spread like a wildfire

Gently dissolving every obstacle on its way

***

Finally, one day you will die quietly

You laughed and you loved

It is a happy-sweet-predictable-end

We are all the same

Aren’t we?

***

Please find below a lovely video from one of my dear masters – Mooji. I love his warm, cheerful energy. Relax, this is not too serious, just enjoy the laughter! Watch out, it is contagious! 🙂

***

“It doesn’t matter how you pray – with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors.” ~ Anne Lamott

P.S. Thanks for reading, sharing, writing a comment and for your precious feedback! 🙂