Wishing you a magic New Year!

“And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that never were.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

How your 2019 have been so far? Mine was dynamic and intense. Maybe my outbursts of laughter or tears will never stop? Looking at my beautiful mum, I may have inherited a gene making my mood dance like a crazy unicorn. 😀

I wish us all a wonderful New Year and…

The courage to be true to ourselves
To not seek approval outside of our own hearts
To follow our instincts
To keep faith – always – especially when it’s hard
To live fully, fiercely, intensely
To live well
To love with our whole hearts
To commit to what matters and re-commit every day, in spite of having no guarantees
To take risks and be brave
To own both our strengths and shadows
To express our emotions, to feel and honour them
To be gentle with ourselves and other beings
To enjoy space, to declutter, to remove the non-essential
To remember that nothing and no one belongs to us and yet we belong to everything
To value our relationships and people in our lives
To go for our dreams, one step at a time
To create and build
To explore more of this beautiful place (new territories, cultures, tastes, smells, books, songs, ah!)
To believe that we are enough, deeply loved and that life celebrates itself through us
To grow, learn and remain innocent, pure, curious and fresh in spirit
To remain in peace and remember to breathe, when things are turbulent and tough
To flourish and to shine
To let our souls guide us
To have fun in the process
To en-JOY and dance
To live, feel and be here and now, unapologetically, truly, humbly.

The older I get, the more I honour vulnerability, both in me and others:

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” ~ Brené Brown

Fuerza, la familia – we are all in this together! Have a bright and blessed New Year! 😀

 

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.” ~ Lao Tzu

 

“Love is a living, breathing thing. There is no need to force it to grow in a particular direction. If we start by being easy and gentle with ourselves, we will find it is just there inside of us, solid and healing.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.” ~ Allen Ginsberg

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This time again – my birthday!

« The birth of all things is weak and tender; and therefore we should have our eyes intent on beginnings. » ~ Michel de Montaigne

 

Hola la familia! 25th of October was my birthday. So grateful for all the lovely wishes, it made me feel loved and special! 😀 I had a delicious dinner and lots of extraordinary red wine with 2 beautiful ladies. Ah! These few past days were intense, both cheerful and challenging. Full moon played its role here, I guess! As every year, it is now time to wrap up, celebrate and make space for the new!

Life is short and a gift that we unpack, create and allow daily. I have my ups and downs, at times I feel vulnerable, overstressed or lonely, but with age (it really sounds like I am getting older!), I feel so much more at peace with myself, others and life itself. I have dreams and a clear direction. I am in love and learning to love deeply and well (this one may take me a few life times!).

I am grateful for sweet presence of beautiful and inspiring people around me. I like my job, most of the time, typically after 10 am when my brain starts to wake up! 😀 I feel supported by friends, family and wise people who I call, when trouble comes. I learn new things every day. I know what makes me feel alive and I try to do it often: dance, movement, art, poetry, music, languages (Arabic and Spanish – may God grant me with patience and discipline to learn them slowly but surely!), nurturing open interactions, travel and spiritual inquiries!

I try to keep balance between some sort of positive routine (security – yes, I need you!) and being spontaneous, adventurous and a little crazy (I got it after my one and only mum). Revolutions are not part of my temper but I can feel in my bones that something is waking up and this New Year will bring some fresh new stuff. Curious what will come my way. I have some ideas, but it is better not to know, surprises are good. 😀

Recently, when I had an intense, sad and a desperate lonely moment, I promised myself to listen to my soul (sounds strange, but this is what came up!). When it feels right in my heart, then it is probably the best thing to do. Please wish me courage. Vive la folie douce! Love to all of you. And love to me too, indeed, joyful gentle love is the best soul food available in store, à volonté, olé! 😀

Please see below a poem I wrote recently. I value space and emptiness more and more. They are so pure and liberating, hope you will enjoy!

Love,
Pau

 

« I have a great curiosity to see new things, but not to own them. It’s very peaceful this way, and one of the nice things about getting older. » ~ Lee Radziwill

 

South of Spain.

Miss emptiness

I fear you
I honour you
I want you
Please feel welcome
Come, come, come to me
Be my guest
Or rather allow me to be yours
For a brief cup of tea
Let me feel
Your freedom
Lightness of being
Innocence of now

 

Take everything
Remove all the layers
Wants, desires, fears, attachments
Labels, illusions and aspirations
Put everything to the sacred fire
Let it burn, burn, burn
Let it go, go, go
So that I can simply be
In this vast spaciousness
In this pure openness
In here and now

 

I am on my way home
Leaving my suitcase behind
No keys, no wallet, no passport
I am naked and my heart is open
Ready to jump into the abyss
Of no-thing
I am afraid – deep down
I know that life will catch me
I trust you miss emptiness
You are so dense with life
Your dance is so full of light
You are breathing yourself in and out
In an endless wind of joy

 

Blue sky. Poland.

« My witness is the empty sky. » ~ Jack Kerouac

Belleville. Paris.

 “One just needs a little alertness to see and find out: life is really a great cosmic laughter.” ~ Osho

Art in Paris.

 “Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand, relax. If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~ Osho

 

My lovely sisters and I. Poland.

 “Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” ~ Osho

Nice sound to finish with. I love it. It feels like warm sunny wind on my skin and make me want to travel far away! 😀

***

Thank you! Feel free to share and let me know your thoughts!

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I don’t need you (to)

Dear Friends,

Long time no speak, happy to be back and wising you All a lovely 2018!

Please see below a poem and a few quotes from Rune Lazuli, a young female poet whose words go straight to my heart, she is so inspiring and I love her bitter sweet, authentic style. She is on Instagram and Facebook. You may want to check out her work!

Best Wishes and have fun! 😀

Love,

Pau

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I don’t need you (to)

I don’t need you to be perfect

I find it sexy when you do not know

How to answer my stubborn questions

I find it charming when you doubt

And show your scars

I don’t want long-term promises

Or big beautiful words

I want patience

I want presence

I want prayer

I want commitment to here and now

And authentic joyful

Bitter-sweet chaos

I don’t search for a perfect equation

I accept uncertainty

Provided that there is aliveness

That there is movement

That there is total acceptance

And an open heart, especially when it hurts

I want us to blossom somewhere

In between right or wrong

Black or white

In the graceful clumsy dance

Of two souls

Who accidentally looked into each other’s eyes

***

“Your strength is measured in your ability to smile.” ~ Rune Lazuli

 

“To be a poet is to be wildly vulnerable.

It is to comfortably reveal your most violent scars.”

Rune Lazuli

 

“The way in which you choose to heal is beautiful.” ~ Rune Lazuli

“We are the granddaughters of the witches they were not able to burn.” ~ Unknown

To finish with style, one of my favourite songs ever, enjoy! 😉

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Freedom is everything and love is all the rest or the work of Byron Katie

“Because inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom.. and as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.” ~ Veronica Roth

This text wanted to be in English. 😀

Recently I devoured two books of Byron Katie: “Loving What Is” and “I Need Your Love, Is That True?” I fell in love with her method called “the work”. It is simple yet profound. It opens mind, heart and brings joy, love, peace and freedom. It sounds promising, doesn’t it? 😀

Byron Katie invites us to question our beliefs, turn them around (good exercise for those who are curious and like to play with the language!) and be willing to consider the new statements as true. Feel free to fill in “Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet”. You might be surprised with what you discover.

I only begin to practice “the work”, yet I sense that this path brings miracles. I already feel relieved and more peaceful. I still have times when I am in pain, angry, sad and looking for love like a desperate housewife. 😀 At the same time, as per Byron Katie’s guidance, I am looking forward to feeling rejected. This is my biggest fear and it will surely happen. It will not be pleasant but it is part of the healing process. I want to grow, experience both love and freedom, my two biggest values and aspirations. They are not conflicting, rather complementary: “freedom is everything and love is all the rest”.

Tree of love

My experience depends on my perception. It gives me my power back. I learn how to surrender to what life offers me here and now. What is in front or inside me, is exactly what I need. It is just another experience of being human so vulnerable. Yes, I want to live an intense, passionate and adventurous life. When I am doing something, I am committing fully. I take risks and open my heart. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I am the happiest woman in the world. This is my nature. Hmm, is it my Slavic temper? Thank you, Mom! 😀

I still feel ashamed of over-reacting (maybe others just under-react? 😀) to some behaviours and events. I try to keep a poker face. Usually I fail, regardless of how hard I try. Arguing with my emotions does not work so now I am trying to accept and express them.  As it fortifies my connection to myself, it gives me faith to make the next step. Letting myself being moved helps me to move forward.

The more we accept the world, the more we are able to enjoy it and influence it positively. The exact same paradox applies to every single (or double for twins! 😀) self /soul on this beautiful planet.

Life wants to experience itself through us. Let it be, let is shine, let it blossom.

Please find below the poem about being in love and free. Enjoy! 😀

Heart shaped flying birds with woman silhouette, vector illustration

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Free spirit

You are like a wave

Coming back and forth

In an endless dance

You are free like a wind

I will never catch you

I will never grasp your essence

I can only enjoy being with you

When you happen to be around

Short sweet while of pure ecstasy

Feeling grateful for your presence

Even if you are far from me

Forever in my heart you will stay

My soul is coloured with your crazy eyes

I am deeply touched

To the point of losing balance

I gently fall down

And it feels good

Thanks God angels’ wings

Support me

And give me faith

To love again

And to fly high

As I finally made friends with the wind

Some say it is called freedom

***

P.S. You can learn more on “the work” in French here.

 

“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. No thinking in the world can change it. What is is. Everything I need is already here now. How do I know I don’t need what I think I need? I don’t have it. So everything I need is always supplied.” ~ Byron Katie

 

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