« The birth of all things is weak and tender; and therefore we should have our eyes intent on beginnings. » ~ Michel de Montaigne
Hola la familia! 25th of October was my birthday. So grateful for all the lovely wishes, it made me feel loved and special! 😀 I had a delicious dinner and lots of extraordinary red wine with 2 beautiful ladies. Ah! These few past days were intense, both cheerful and challenging. Full moon played its role here, I guess! As every year, it is now time to wrap up, celebrate and make space for the new!
Life is short and a gift that we unpack, create and allow daily. I have my ups and downs, at times I feel vulnerable, overstressed or lonely, but with age (it really sounds like I am getting older!), I feel so much more at peace with myself, others and life itself. I have dreams and a clear direction. I am in love and learning to love deeply and well (this one may take me a few life times!).
I am grateful for sweet presence of beautiful and inspiring people around me. I like my job, most of the time, typically after 10 am when my brain starts to wake up! 😀 I feel supported by friends, family and wise people who I call, when trouble comes. I learn new things every day. I know what makes me feel alive and I try to do it often: dance, movement, art, poetry, music, languages (Arabic and Spanish – may God grant me with patience and discipline to learn them slowly but surely!), nurturing open interactions, travel and spiritual inquiries!
I try to keep balance between some sort of positive routine (security – yes, I need you!) and being spontaneous, adventurous and a little crazy (I got it after my one and only mum). Revolutions are not part of my temper but I can feel in my bones that something is waking up and this New Year will bring some fresh new stuff. Curious what will come my way. I have some ideas, but it is better not to know, surprises are good. 😀
Recently, when I had an intense, sad and a desperate lonely moment, I promised myself to listen to my soul (sounds strange, but this is what came up!). When it feels right in my heart, then it is probably the best thing to do. Please wish me courage. Vive la folie douce! Love to all of you. And love to me too, indeed, joyful gentle love is the best soul food available in store, à volonté, olé! 😀
Please see below a poem I wrote recently. I value space and emptiness more and more. They are so pure and liberating, hope you will enjoy!
Love,
Pau
« I have a great curiosity to see new things, but not to own them. It’s very peaceful this way, and one of the nice things about getting older. » ~ Lee Radziwill
Miss emptiness
I fear you
I honour you
I want you
Please feel welcome
Come, come, come to me
Be my guest
Or rather allow me to be yours
For a brief cup of tea
Let me feel
Your freedom
Lightness of being
Innocence of now
Take everything
Remove all the layers
Wants, desires, fears, attachments
Labels, illusions and aspirations
Put everything to the sacred fire
Let it burn, burn, burn
Let it go, go, go
So that I can simply be
In this vast spaciousness
In this pure openness
In here and now
I am on my way home
Leaving my suitcase behind
No keys, no wallet, no passport
I am naked and my heart is open
Ready to jump into the abyss
Of no-thing
I am afraid – deep down
I know that life will catch me
I trust you miss emptiness
You are so dense with life
Your dance is so full of light
You are breathing yourself in and out
In an endless wind of joy
« My witness is the empty sky. » ~ Jack Kerouac
“One just needs a little alertness to see and find out: life is really a great cosmic laughter.” ~ Osho
“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand, relax. If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~ Osho
“Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” ~ Osho
Nice sound to finish with. I love it. It feels like warm sunny wind on my skin and make me want to travel far away! 😀
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Thank you! Feel free to share and let me know your thoughts!
« Don’t force anything. Let life be a deep let go. » ~ Eileen Caddy
My beloved London, in 2017 I was lucky enough to live with you for a very brief while. I was both stressed and grateful, while falling asleep and waking up in your classy arms. I would love to learn more of your lingo, walk again through your frenetic streets decorated with colourful breath-taking art pieces. I want to taste more of your take away surprising dishes and explore your clubs, coffee shops and peaceful sacred spots. I would like to dance at your glory, go to your concerts, run through your parks and gracefully squeeze in your crowded tube. {I am a little size – it is ok if it is tight!} Yes, I am afraid; we do not know each other very well. But I simply cannot ignore my drive to explore and connect. I want to meet your people. I want to lose myself in your hectic and noisy melting pot. One way or another, I will be back. Maybe for a couple of days, a few months or even longer, who knows? Hope you don’t mind? 😉 Anyway, thank you so much for having me, really appreciated the whole bitter-sweet intense and enriching experience!
« The best bribe which London offers today to the imagination, is, that, in such a vast variety of people and conditions, one can believe there is room for persons of romantic character to exist, and that the poet, the mystic, and the hero may hope to confront their counterparts. » ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wrote a (not very) sophisticated poem, voilà!
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London chéri
You are so damn expensive (oh shit!*)
This is how you test someone’s commitment to build a lasting partnership
Many brave hearts play with destiny to get a sense
Of your crazy, intense and colourful spirit
Full of smiley faces and exotic accents
(They all find a common ground after a few drinks)
You are extravagant, sweet, free and fresh
(Also because of the rain, your sky is so capricious and dramatic)
You are hectic, eclectic and business oriented
Yet, you host so many places of worship
Where people pray in countless ways
With same pure, infinite beauty
You taste like a delicious mixture of best dishes from around the globe
I love your vibrant, funky look when you dress to impress on a dance floor
(You never wear tights, I am not sure why)
You politely point out where to look while crossing the street
And how many seconds are left to get to the other side safely
Yet, you make us all feel like non-diagnosed dyslexics
Or headless chickens running against the clock
London – I miss you and your freaky folks
Plus our romantic random lonely walks
Bear with me ~ I’ll be back! Me enamoré
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* Nom de Dieu
A few pictures + a few quotes, enjoy!
« It is not what you say that matters. It is what you are and how you live. » ~ Eileen Caddy
“Wild Warrior Women will save the world.” ~ Rune Lazuli
« Let there be more joy and laughter in your living. » ~ Eileen Caddy
Thanks for reading, what about you – any countries, cities or places that you want to explore? I wish you enjoy yourself and feel home (free + safe + Wi-Fi), wherever you are. 😉
Paris -> Vilnius ->Eišiškės ->Trakai -> Kapadokya ->Istanbul -> Paris
« Before you cross the street take my hand. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. » ~ John Lennon – Beautiful Boy
This was THE trip: 11 days, 5+ cities, 5 flights, 8 kg of luggage, a small cabin backpack and nearly the same outfit during the whole trip (too chilly to dress like a queen haha). For me, it was one BIG adventure. 😀 I was scared to death before leaving my cosy Parisian apartment as I have never travelled alone for more than a few days and without a full plan. I still cannot believe that I did it! What happened was magic and it was the best present I could have hoped for. I feel lucky and grateful.
Lithuania – back to the source.
« Life is more beautiful than prudence » ~ Abbé Pierre
My journey started in charming and green Vilnius – city of angels who fly at low altitude and (of course!) high speed. My goal was to learn more about my roots.
I rented a car and travelled to the city where my dad was born – Eišiškės. I made a tour of the village, asking questions, meeting locals and searching for a distant cousin or at least some more information on my dad’s childhood. One encounter leading to another, I finally end up in a small house, sitting on a couch with a lovely old couple. The lady’s mom’s maiden name was the same as my dad’s surname. I was a total stranger to them, coming out of the blue, but they treated me like their own daughter, gave me a big-long-warm hug and a kiss. They patiently answered all my questions, showed me a few family pictures and wished me the best of luck for the rest of my trip. I felt honoured and welcome.
I also (finally) understood the meaning of my surname. Indeed, in Poland, where I was born it sounds awkward. In Lithuania, however, it carries a sense. A deep one, haha. “Be dugno” means “without bottom” and “bedugnė” translates into “an abyss”. Hmm, let’s jump in, shall we?! 😀
I even learned (totally by accident!) that there was a village called “Bedugnė”, 60 km from Eišiškės. I did not go there, next time! Who knows, maybe my father’s family comes from there?
I also travelled to Trakai, a pleasant town near Vilnius, famous for its beautiful lakes and a castle. Is also known for the Karaims – people speaking the Turkic language, who have lived there since the 14th century and have preserved their traditions, including food. The most popular dish is kibinai – a small pasty stuffed with minced meat or vegetables. I tried it, of course! It offered me a perfect foretaste of my imminent trip to Turkey.
My stay in « the Jerusalem of the North » was a real treat! I tasted 3 totally different beetroot soups in 2 days, ate the best pancakes ever, drank delicious local beer, discussed about life, sang polish folkloric songs and was touched to tears by a beautiful poem of a lovely Ukrainian artist and graphic designer, who was in love with Vilnius and kind enough to be my companion and private paparazzi during my trip to Eišiškės. Arita, you rock!
Lithuania smelled, tasted and felt home, ačiū and hope to be back soon!
Turkey – from Kapadokya to Istanbul.
“And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” ~ Erica Jong
Turkey was a totally different story. I started my trip by booking a domestic flight to Kapadokya, a historical region in Central Anatolia known for its unique rock-cut temples, houses, beautiful valleys and underground cities. I stayed in a pleasant hotel near Göreme, recommended by Moroccan Nomad – very good travel website in French.
My dream was to participate in a hot-air balloon flight. I did it! At first, it was scary. Indeed, the balloon itself is HUGE, the basket, on the other hand, is pretty small and you fly high! Hopefully I was not totally conscious of the danger as they woke me up at 4 am. However, I fully trusted the pilot as I had a competent local guide who recommended a good company and offered a very competitive price. Teşekkür, Umut, yourself and your wife made my stay in Kapadokya relaxing and enjoyable, not to mention the delicious food!
I visited a few valleys and the Derinkuyu underground city. It felt so peaceful and liberating to see real open landscapes, instead of a casual open space in my office, regardless of how high tech and well-designed it is. Eating a breakfast on a sunny terrace with a view was priceless!
The next and final stop was Istanbul. I visited Hagia Sophia (under reconstruction, yet still impressive!), the Blue Mosque and the Galata Mawlavi House Museum. This is the oldest Mawlavi house in Istanbul or a temple for Islamic Sufi believers, also known as tall hatted Whirling Dervishes. Sadly, I did not see an authentic Whirling Dervish dance performance. Next time in Turkey I will make sure to come to Konya to check it out! I so much enjoy visiting sacred places, in both Vilnius and Istanbul there were plenty of them.
That being said, while in Istanbul, I also went to the business district, where I had a lunch with my colleagues. Video conferences are good, but face to face meetings are better! I proudly used my access card to enter the local office. I also grabbed a snack from the pantry. 😀
During the whole travel, I came across many great free spirits from all walks of life. The people I met and the time spent together made this trip truly memorable. I learned so much. It opened my eyes and gave me a fresh and totally new outlook on my current situation (which is pretty good, thanks, God!).
I took every possible mean of transportation (ships rock!). I walked like crazy, climbed every hill and entered every cave I could (the more difficult it was the better!). I enjoyed delicious food and drinks in charming company. I went to Turkish baths (unique experience, especially the bubble wash!). I laughed so much, I felt like a joyful, adventurous child discovering the world for the very first time.
Parisian jungle – going back home.
« The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. » ~ Marcel Proust
Coming back to work was not that bad. My Italian boss knows how to talk to me: “you were missed”. Oh, merci! I am very grateful to have a decent and interesting job so that I can spoil myself with such magic moments. Actually, I will need to check, but it did not cost that much. I mainly stayed in youth hostels (Downtown Forest & Orient) and had very good prices, especially in Turkey where people currently travel much less due to political reasons. 🙁 I can only say that I felt safe and had no issues at all, except being invited to every single restaurant I was passing near to, as, of course; it was absolutely the best in town and I could expect a special personal discount! 🙂
Words cannot express the joy, freedom and peace I felt during this trip. I was touched many times by the beauty of nature, architecture and people’s stories. I connected to the wild, adventurous and brave part of myself. I am a nomad. We all are. We are not meant to stay in front of the same screen, regardless of how high-tech and big it is, for 10+ years, checking e-mails and resolving tickets (those who work in big companies will understand!). Again, I am very grateful to be a part of an international team in a solid firm that offers great opportunities. Yet, my soul yearns for fresh air, new experiences, adventures and surprises. While looking back at this short and intense trip, I would not change a thing; maybe, I could only be a bit braver, crazier and trusted life and people even more? I consider myself curious and sociable; however, I am still learning to have both my heart and mind open to different people, ideas and experiences.
If you hesitate and are afraid of going somewhere new, then it may be the very exact thing you should do. Be alert. Act prudently, especially that sadly terrorist attacks become common in various destinations globally. Gather all the pieces of information you need ahead of time and then simply trust that everything will go right or even better. As it will!
Love,
Pau
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Please find below more pictures from my trip. Enjoy, thanks for reading, sharing and your precious feedback!